O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
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