just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
