Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
