Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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