"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Randomize
