i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize