Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
