I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize