He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Help. Why am I so naked?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
