I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
