Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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