Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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