Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Randomize
