what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
