I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
