I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
