Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize
