Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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