Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
