Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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