We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize