Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
NoShamevember. You game?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
