i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
