Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
