It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
