I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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