i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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