i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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