She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
