you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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