No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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