after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
