It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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