he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Randomize
