I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
