if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
