Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize