just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
