She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I bet he comes in French.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize