he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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