yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
