i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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