The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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