maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
