Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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