Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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