Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
