she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
