brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
i believe in u and ur pee
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
