I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
this must be what syphilis tastes like
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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