so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Randomize
