Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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