Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
