dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Randomize
