it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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