miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize