oh god the rape fog is back!
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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