it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
