worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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