1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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